Death of ER co-worker’s family member

This was submitted to me anonymously.

I feel bad every time I see her.

It’s been months since me and my coworkers had to try to save her husband’s life. We did everything we could but he had been dead for too long, whatever it was that killed him did not let him return. I know I tried as hard as I could, became very aggressive in my medication administration, made sure CPR was being done as we carried him down multiple flights of stairs. It was no use and while I think I know she knows we did everything we could, I feel empty in front of her. I can walk into the ER smiling but my smile disappears once I see her. Is it that I met her children and don’t know if they can smile like I can?

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